A Narrow Escape From Mr. Chuckles

What does one do, when they are no longer dating? Or rather, what does Jane do when she’s no longer dating? (Please don’t ask me why I’m writing in the third person.) Anyway, the answer is… I work. I work a lot!

I worked this evening at my part time retail job (my 2nd job). As much as it stinks having to put in 10-12 hour workdays, I really enjoy the people I work with and I don’t mind the work. There’s always something interesting going on. Today was no exception.

It was getting close to the end of my shift. It was 15 minutes before closing time, when I saw him. It was the same guy I had helped on two previous occasions over the past three weeks. He was back again. I would describe him as a nerdly fellow that took good care of himself. He wore pressed khakis and a blue dress shirt. It was tucked in and finished off with a belt. (It says something about a person, when they wear a belt. I’m not sure what… but it says something.)

I was busy straightening up my section of the store. I briskly walked by him and made a comment. “Are you back again? I’m not sure if there’s anything left in the store that you haven’t bought.” I had a teasing and sarcastic lilt in my voice.

He chuckled (I’m not kidding, he really did chuckle), “I just never realized how much stuff you guys have in your store. Every time I come here, I see more stuff that I need.”

We both chuckled… I was inadvertently mimicking his laugh. (A bad habit that I have to stop.) I think it’s a subconscious sales technique.

“Jane, that’s your name right?” As he looked down at my name tag. “You must work here a lot. All three times I’ve come into the store, you’ve been working. Is this your full time job?”

I chucked. (I really have to stop mimicking the customers’ laughs.) “No, no… I’ve just been working a lot lately.” (I didn’t tell him that it was a substitute for not dating.)

We bantered back and forth as I hurried him through picking out bathroom accessories. I found out that he worked in IT at Northwest Airlines. I told him what I did for a living and… he chuckled (again). We discussed the mechanic’s strike and his employer’s pending bankruptcy as I walked him to the front of the store to check out.

I knew what was coming as I scanned the items and started bagging his purchases.
“So Jane, are there any good coffee shops around here, open this time of night?” I could tell he was trying to be subtle, but I was two steps ahead of him and played dumb.

I didn’t want to be mean, but I just wasn’t interested. I’m seriously done with dating. “Well, there are some coffee shops, but not any good ones. You’ve always got Perkins to fall back on.” I chucked. (Crap, why can’t I stop mimicking… it’s really getting annoying.)

“Isn’t there a Starbucks down the street?” He was putting himself out there and I respect him for it, but I wasn’t budging on my position. I’m really seriously done dating.

“Yeah, there is, but it closed already. All the businesses near the mall shut down between 9:30 and 10:00 p.m. It’s already closed.”

“Oh, um, that’s too bad.” He said softly. He didn’t chuckle this time. I finished his transaction and told him to have a good night and that I’d probably see him around again.

I had shut him down. I felt bad, but my adventuresome dating spirit has vanished. My interest in the activity… is simply gone. Not even the promise of good conversation with this nameless nerdly guy (that shall henceforth be referred to as ‘Mr. Chuckles’) could motivate me to accept his invitation of coffee. I felt like a bizzo for brushing him off, but I need some time off from the sport.

My despondency about being a bizzo to the ‘nameless nerdly guy’ a/k/a ‘Mr. Chuckles’ was short lived. As I walked out to my new long term German boyfriend ‘Arie the Audi’ (Yes, I named him.) I saw a praying mantis sitting on the roof of my car. It was the largest praying mantis I’ve ever seen. A couple of my co-workers and I played with it for about 10 minutes. We poked at it with sticks, blew on it and took its picture with my phone. Eventually, we pulled a branch down and let it crawl back into the tree it dropped from. That mantis must have been 6 inches from end to end! It made me chuckle.