Email Scandal

Two weeks had passed since Josh, Bob and I went to the movies. My schedule had been insanely busy and between my two jobs (and hanging out with other friends), I was spent.

Last week Tuesday was my first night off in nearly five days. I was in the middle of doing my laundry when Josh called. He didn’t call for any particular reason, just to talk… for two hours.

I stood in the Laundromat folding my clothes as our conversation became more and more flirtatious. By the time we hung up, there was no doubt that he was hitting on me. (Hmmm)

We had exchanged email addresses and the next morning I checked my account and found a blatantly flirtatious message waiting for me. (I am not disclosing the contents of the message at this time, because my mother reads this blog.) I sent a rather flirtatious email back to him and he replied with a scandalous message. Then, I pushed the envelope and sent a legitimately racy email to him. He never responded. (Oh my goodness, I went too far!)

I would find out later that night, when we went to ‘Sweeny’s’ for drinks, why he never responded. He picked me up and it felt awkward in his car. Once we sat down on the patio with a roaring fire in the background we began to open up.

I started, “So Josh, you never replied to my last email.” Every once in a while, I’m overcome with bluntness and just put it all out there.

He laughed and if I didn’t know better, I’d say that he blushed. He scratched his head, and looked down at his glass, “Well Jane, I didn’t dare answer it, because I knew it would take us down a road I can’t go down.”

I played dumb so that he’d come right out and say it, “What do you mean?”

“I think you know what I mean… Uh, you know… because I have a girlfriend and all. We’ve been together for a year.” (Ouch!) There, it was out there. She wasn’t just ‘the girl he was dating’. She really was his girlfriend and has been for a while!

“You see Jane, things have been strained between us ever since I spent the week by the lake shore with her and her family. It’s just really hard being separated…” (Blah blah blah, my A.D.D. took over and I began to zone out.)

I spent the next 30 minutes listening to him go on about his problems with his girlfriend. Then I spent the next 45 minutes counseling him and helping him understand his girlfriend’s perspective and concerns with their long distance relationship. I reassured him that everything was going to be fine and that the only reason their relationship was strained was because they never saw each other. (Why do I have to be so nice?)

“Josh, it’s impossible for long distance relationships to succeed with one exception. If there is a set period of time that you are going to be separated and that set period of time is less than one year, then you can still make it. Otherwise, if the separation is indefinite or too long, then you might as well call it quits. So you see, since your separation is only six months, you and your girlfriend are going to be fine.” (I patted myself on the back.)

By the time we finished our pitcher of Summit Oktoberfest, he felt much better and I felt much worse (even though I did the right thing).

It was getting late and he had to get up early. So we went our separate ways.

I got home and there was a message on my voicemail from ‘Cali-goose’. He had left me an extended lecture about how I need to let this thing with Josh go. “Jane, don’t waste your time. You’re just going to get hurt.” He was right, but I didn’t call him back to tell him that.

I’m no angel. I’ve cheated on a boyfriend in the past, but it was an accident. I forgot I was dating him… twice, and made out with other boys. (It’s just that he was kind of forgettable.)

I’ve also kissed a boy or two that had a girlfriend. But, it all came back to bite me in the bum a few years ago when I was on the receiving end of the cheating. It didn’t feel good.

And so, Josh is off limits.

(On a side note, 40 Year Old sent me a bunch of emails today. Apparently he finally remembered that I existed. I’m embarrassed to say that I was glad to get them. I hate him.)