Trouble With "The Talk"

My Thursday night date with "Eugenio" didn't go as well as I had hoped. We went to dinner and the topic of our conversation immediately became "me". He kept telling me that I was mysterious and that he was very intrigued with me. I told him my life was an open book and that whatever questions he had about me I would answer them honestly.

On a side note: As cool as "Eugenio" is, the more I hang out with him, the more annoyed I get with him. These are the reasons: 1. I feel like he puts me up on a pedestal. I don't think he really wants to get to know "me", because then I won't be 'perfect' in his mind anymore. That bothers me. 2. Every time we end a date, he wants to know when he can see me again. When I tell him I don't know and that I have to check my daytimer, he seems irritated. He doesn't understand that I have an extremely busy schedule. I've got two jobs, other friends that I have standing plans with, and I have a regular schedule at the gym that I am unwilling to give up. (Ever since my first sabbatical, the gym has become a priority over boys.) 3. He calls me almost every day, in addition to the instant messages he sends me at work and the emails he sends. He also stopped by my retail job unexpectedly... to surprise me. (That weirded me out a little.)

Back to the story: After my invitation for him to ask me anything "Eugenio" began with, "Jane, sometimes I wonder whether you even think about me, if I'm not standing directly in front of you. Do you think about me during the day?" (Hhhmmmmm, how do I answer this one?)

I paused for a good 20 seconds before I answered and said, "Yes." I was getting nervous waiting for his next question.

"Well Jane, I was talking to my friends about this (Oh no, I hate sentences that start like this!) and I told them how every date with you feels like a first date, because it takes a while for you to warm up to me. I just don't know where I stand with you and I have to be honest with you. I'm somewhat smitten with you. "

I had to pull out the big guns. This was our 4th date and I needed to have "the talk" with him. "Eugenio, if you really want to know everything that's going on in my life, I will tell you. Do you really want to know? "

He answered, "I'm not sure, now."

"Well Eugenio, I'm going to tell you anyway so you know where you stand with me. Do you remember back when I told you why I didn't call you the first time you asked me out... because I was seeing someone? "(For your background information: He had asked me out the first time and I never called him back because I was in a relationship with "40 Year Old". The second time he asked me out I was ending the relationship with "40 Year Old" and I emailed him shortly after. I had told him in one of our first emails that the reason I never called him the first time was because I was dating someone else.)

Eugenio nodded his head slowly up and down. "Eugenio, I still talk with that guy periodically. We aren't dating, but we do still talk. That's one of the things that has been distracting me from you."

He looked at me and said, "I thought you had made that story up about seeing someone else, so that I wouldn't feel bad about you not calling me back after asking you out."

I nodded my head slowly back and forth, "No, that was the truth." Eugenio wasn't enjoying this conversation, but he needed to hear it. "Eugenio, I don't know how I feel about you. I'm not sure if I'm feeling 'it'. (This is so hard to say and so hard to say nicely.) I need to think about this. I have a lot of things going on with my job and my life right now. (which are part of the reason I have had to take a long-term sabbatical from dating, but the details are too long and boring to post on this blog.) My plans are extremely uncertain at this point. I just need some time to think. Is that okay?"

I thought he got it, but later on it became clear to me that he didn't. My little speech only made him want to "help me through this hard time". He seemed to think I needed rescuing. We were supposed to hang out last night with some of his friends. I was so exhausted from working all day that I called him and cancelled. (I just wanted to go to bed.) He wanted to reschedule that moment. I told him I would call him on Sunday to reschedule.

Glancing at my calendar... it doesn't look like I'll be able to fit him in until after Memorial Day. (I'm taking a much needed vacation and going home to visit my family.)