I arrived at "40 Year Old’s" home Sunday evening. (The Sunday I was supposed to call "Eugenio" back to reschedule our cancelled Saturday night date.) "40 Year Old" and I were off to see a movie… Star Wars - Revenge of the Sith. I rang his doorbell once and walked in (old habits die hard). He yelled from upstairs in his best falsetto girl’s voice, “Who is it?” (As if he didn't know.) I yelled back in my best gruff man voice, “It’s me!” We both laughed.
I bounced up the stairs and was greeted by oodles of affection. (Where were these hugs and nuzzles coming from?) We chatted a bit and caught up on things. It had been weeks since we last saw each other. At least it felt like it had been weeks.
He poured me a drink and told me how he had visited with the couple that originally set us up on a date. He told me that our mutual friend had given him a hard time for “messing things up” with me. She told him, “40 Year Old, I set you up with the best girl I know and you blew it!” I laughed at him and said, “You sure did!”
“40 Year Old” scooted up next to me and put his arms around my waist. “Jane, you are the best girl I know… and I want you to know that if it weren’t for me moving, I really would pursue something more serious with you.” (Hmmm that’s not hard to say when you know that you aren’t sticking around, but it was a nice gesture on his part nonetheless.)
We had a great evening out. We played arcade games before the movie started. (He’s the first person to ever beat me playing Area 51.) He ate all the popcorn, so I refused to share my Reese’s Pieces with him. Then he spilled my frozen cherry drink down the front of his white shirt. He fell asleep three times and I fell asleep once. (It was a really long movie.)
It was strange, before he fell asleep (the first time); he reached over and held my hand. I’m not sure if the reason it felt so odd was because I am NOT a hand holder or whether it felt odd, because I didn’t mind…
Friday, May 27, 2005
Thursday, May 26, 2005
Oh Yeah, Remember "Darin"
A trivial update: I hadn't responded to "Darin's" last email to me, because I had decided to go on Dating Sabbatical. To be honest, I was so busy these past few weeks... I forgot about him. Apparently he was away traveling on business, but Tuesday (the day I cancelled on "Eugenio" the second time and went to a happy hour with my friends) "Darin" emailed me again. He said he was back in town and wondered if I was still up for grabbing dinner. I never responded, actually... I just plain forgot (because I was too busy dealing the "Eugenio" drama).
A Jedi Master Become, Eugenio Shall Not!
Some background information before the story can unfold completely: I didn’t call “Eugenio” back on Sunday as I had promised. I didn’t have time and I actually forgot. (I know none of you are surprised at that.) He called me around 4 p.m. and left a voicemail, “Jane, hey this is Eugenio. Um, yeah… I really think we need to talk.”
I thought to myself, that’s funny… I don’t have anything in particular that I need to talk to him about. I guess it will have to wait until Monday, because I’m busy right now. I didn’t call him back. (Honestly, I was still a little weirded out that he had stopped by my work without warning on Friday night.) Instead I met up with “40 Year Old”. I will detail that date in my next posting, but this posting is dedicated exclusively to “Eugenio”.
I came into work on Monday and “Eugenio” instant messaged me. I apologized for not calling and explained that my Sunday was extremely busy and I didn’t have time. (He still hadn’t seemed to grasp the extent of my business. He wasn’t my only commitment.) He seemed fine with my explanation, but immediately wanted to know when we could see each other next. I told him the only day that could possibly work was Tuesday evening. He told me that he had Frisbee that night, but that he would leave right after to meet me. That worked out perfect, because I had a happy hour that I wanted to attend with some old co-workers. (I hadn’t seen them since last fall.) Actually, even though it worked out fine… I wasn’t feeling “Eugenio” at all anymore. He seemed whiney and needy. I wasn’t looking forward to our “date”, but he sure was. He told me in an email on Tuesday, “Jane, I’m really looking forward to seeing you tonight. See you later Cutie Pie.” (Gross, please don’t refer to me as a piece of food… I didn’t want to be anywhere near his mouth.)
The plan was to meet up around 9:00 p.m. Well, the happy hour with my old co-workers was a riot. The happy hour was late getting started and I could tell it was going last a while. I told my friends that I had to get going, but they used their peer pressure to convince me to stick around and hang out with them. (I caved.)
I called “Eugenio” at 7:45 and left the following message, “Hey, I feel really bad saying this, but I really want to hang out with my friends. We got a late start and I haven’t seen them since Sept. I was wondering if we could reschedule?” I told him to go ahead and go out with his friends after Frisbee. (Yes, I cancelled again!) I felt so relieved.
“Eugenio” called back and left a message. I can’t remember exactly what it said, but I know he wasn’t happy and that we’d talk about it tomorrow. (I didn’t realize what I was in for.)
Now the story really begins. The following is an ACTUAL transcript of the conversation that took place between us over Instant Messenger. Enjoy!
Eugenio says:
hello
Jane says:
hey
Eugenio says:
So, tell me what’s going on?
Jane says:
Eugenio... my life is extremely complicated right now. I have a billion things flying through my head.
Eugenio says:
I'm not trying to make your life more complicated. Maybe I am complicating things... but not intentionally
I dont need a lot, you know. I am not high maintenance. I feel like you've treated me really poorly blowing me off a few times in the past 4 days and it's really just hurtful. And if you want to get rid of me I can think of more civilized ways to do it.
Jane says:
I know that you want to pursue a dating relationship with me, but I can't give you that... I don't even have time for myself.
Eugenio says:
But if that is not the case then please we just need to talk.
Jane says:
I admit that I blew you off last night. My friends and I were all running late. I hadn't seen them since Sept. and I wanted to catch up.
Eugenio says:
That's fine...
Jane says:
But Saturday night I was exhausted. I'd worked a double shift Friday night, ran myself ragged from
8:30 Sat. morning until 2 p.m. running errands... and then worked 8 hours at my retail job.
Eugenio says:
Yeah I believe it.
Jane says:
I looked terrible and felt terrible and then I got a call from my mom and had some important things to talk to her about on the phone. Can’t you understand that?
Eugenio says:
It's not even that, I understand you're busy. I am busy too... And I know last night was a hard situation.
Jane says:
No... I am beyond busy. The last 2 weeks of my life have been a circus.
Eugenio says:
I kinda got that feeling. And whether or not you believe it, I am OK with that…
Jane says:
Professionally, with my Family, with my friends. I have too much going on.
Eugenio says:
But you have to understand that you don’t seem to be very good at understanding how what you say and do is interpreted by other people, or how it makes them feel. The cumulative effect of Saturday night, then not calling me on Sunday when you said you would, and then blowing me off last night. It is hurtful. If you were any other girl, I wouldn’t bother.
Jane says:
So why are you bothering?
Eugenio says:
I honestly don’t think you're trying to be mean on purpose. I mean correct me if I'm wrong, but I think I “get” you a little bit and I understand a little of how your mind works. So, I am willing to be put on the back burner. I am patient...understanding. If it's truly just a bad time right now, I understand. If that isn’t the case and it is the “weirdness” you felt the other night when we kissed, or if it's because you're not interested in me, then just be up front about it!
Jane says:
You deserve more than I can give you.
Eugenio says:
bah!
Jane says:
You're a great guy.
Eugenio says:
You let me make the decision about what I deserve… and how much I am willing to put up with. So the bottom line is… Is this a time/life/circumstance issue between us, or is it that you just aren’t that into me?
Eugenio says:
? Well ?
Jane says:
Listen, we've been on 4 dates. We are still getting to know each other. I feel like you've jumped into this and are trying to force it. You claim you aren't high maintenance, but it sure feels like it. I have to go to a meeting right now. We can talk about this more this afternoon.
Eugenio says:
Ugh... you're right... let's talk this afternoon.
(Pause from this conversation… I was really annoyed at this point in the conversation. I was at work and he was really disrupting me. However, I wanted to nip this situation in the bud… so I picked up the conversation towards the end of the day. It starts to get really weird!)
Eugenio says:
So can I call you for a few minutes? Its easier over the phone I think.
Jane says:
Honestly, no… I'm piling through reports in between typing and reading.
Eugenio says:
Ok, well I'll do my best writing then. Basically, you are right. I have been forcing things, or trying to (unsuccessfully). But it's pretty simple... It's just been a while since I've seen potential...most girls are boring or uninteresting or unchallenging. You are all of those things! I just got a bit excited… er…wait… You’re NOT any of those things, is what I mean. It wasn’t even about you so much as I got excited about the concept… the hope. To be honest on Sunday I went through a John Favreau 'Swingers' moment and what I ended up doing was just writing down all this crap that was swimming in my head. I put it into a letter which I never intend to send. Anyway, it helped me refocus and regain my perspective. That is what I was going to talk with you about on Tuesday. I know I haven’t even been myself and it's just been very strange. I can understand I've been giving off vibes like I am diving in head first and sort of over-eager. But, in reality that's not how I am, you just had me twisted up and I needed to un-twist a bit. I needed to regain my composure and realize what was going on. I don’t know if that makes sense.
Jane says:
The last few relationships and dating situations I've been in... were with people whose calendars were as crammed as mine. I was flexible with last minute changes and they were flexible with last minute changes. You have to have everything planned out. You are a big talker and feel neglected if someone doesn’t have time to engage in a conversation with you. I'm not a phone talker… unless I have something important to say.
Eugenio says:
I'm not either! Honestly, I am super busy. It’s just starting to gear up. Listen, the schedule does not bother me one bit. It’s just uncertainty that got to me… We all have our little foibles and I just got wound up a bit.
Jane says:
Eugenio... I don't think we "work" in a dating sense.
Eugenio says:
Well, I think we do pretty well. What hasn’t been working besides my eagerness? I mean we've had a good times, right? When we're actually face to face.
Jane says:
Yes I have a good time with you, but you became insecure and uncertain before there was a chance for anything to even become certain... 2 weeks?
Eugenio says:
I appreciate the candor, even if it won’t change anything.
Jane says:
I feel like there is a lot of nonsense inbetween our face to face meetings and that is starting to bother me.
Eugenio says:
Ah you misinterpret. You see I totally feel the same way! All this time people have been asking me... I mean my friends have been asking me… ‘Tell me about Jane, tell me how it’s going!’ I say to them, ‘Well, it's great when we're face to face, we have a good time and things feel good... but when we're not in front of each other it's all weird.’ That’s the truth! The thing about it is, the weirdness in between just made me feel uncertain, that's all. And I didn’t know how to interpret it, or deal with it. I guess I overanalyze everything.
Jane says:
Eugenio, stop typing for a second! Let me get a word in. I can barely keep up with your thoughts.
Eugenio says:
So things were just screwed up in my head until Sunday. Then I was able to regain my clarity and realized that… it's been 5 dates. Why do I care? I just need to relax with what I have with you. If it happens it happens. Okay?
Jane says:
It’s only been 4 dates.
Eugenio says:
4 dates...5 dates... It hasn’t been enough for me to start acting like a retard. That’s my point.
Jane says:
Eugenio. You are an emotional man... that isn't a bad thing... but I am your polar opposite.
Eugenio says:
I'm not really an emotional man. I'm the king of compartmentalization.
Jane says:
I beg to differ... are you reading anything that you just wrote for the past 10 minutes?
Eugenio says:
I get yelled at for not being emotional enough all the damn time! What I’m expressing now isn’t emotion. It’s just me explaining what’s going on in my head when I was acting all weird with you. But then I came to the conclusion that it was insane. In any case if you have a great time with me then you can afford to see me again. I'm going to be myself from now on and if it's no good then so be it! But there's no harm in it. Relax Jane, life is beautiful, right? Give me another chance and if it sucks then we're no worse off. But, first thing to do is to get rid of Instant Messenger. I don’t think it's doing us any good.
Eugenio says:
Yo Jane! Are you there? Pay attention ADD! Ha ha.
Jane says:
Eugenio... this is just too much drama for me.
Eugenio says:
Jane? Um, but I’m not a dramatic person… there is no drama here. It's all just miscommunication.
Jane says:
I don't have the time or energy to deal with this.
Eugenio says:
Honestly, there's no drama. It's the Internet. I just think you can’t understand my ‘tone’. Besides, like I said, what's the big deal? Give the kid another chance? Listen…go on vacation, we'll talk when you get back. Remember… it’s not a big deal.
Jane says:
You're right it isn't a big deal, but you have blown it into one!
Eugenio says:
I certainly haven’t! What did you think was going to happen? If you say you're going to call someone and then don’t...and then make plans and break them short notice? How was I supposed to interpret that? Of course I thought it was a big deal, like you weren’t interested in me. You made it into an issue. I was ready to just cool my jets and have a fun night. But honestly it was pretty rude and what you did sucked. But what I'm saying is who cares? I don’t give up so easily on anything, and I think that if we can actually sit down and address this like people do, maybe it won’t seem so dramatic. So just have fun with your family this weekend and we'll talk when you get back. What's the harm in that? Just say you'll think about it so I can go home please!
Jane says:
Eugenio... I'm a rude bi*ch... the question is... why do you want to date a rude bi*ch?
Eugenio says:
I don’t think you're a rude bi*ch. Remember the first thing about me Jane… I read between the lines.
Jane says:
There is nothing to read between the lines. You're really annoying me right now...
Eugenio says:
It won’t work.
Jane says:
I don't have the time or energy to deal with this. Any desire I had to date you... is fading extremely quickly.
Eugenio says:
Speaking of drama! What the hell is so frustrating?
Jane says:
I need to go. I'm really tired of this conversation.
Eugenio says:
So that's it then?
Jane says:
Please... it's obvious from this conversation that we're in different places.
Eugenio says:
Listen up, you're being really dramatic right now. I don’t like it. I will email you next week and maybe you'll be calmed down or whatever. If you don’t reply, that's fine. I don’t care, you're a great girl but obviously something is going on with you! I've never been anything but nice to you and I surely don’t deserve to be treated like I'm not even worth a phone call. So have a great vacation. Bye. If I had a door right now I'd *expletive* slam that sh*t real hard. Then stomp around, but then I'd laugh because drama is silly and I'm just having fun.
I never responded… there was nothing to more to say. ("Eugenio" is crazy!) I didn’t want to touch that situation with a ten-foot pole.
But, I would like to take a few moments to put all these thoughts that are swimming around in my head down on paper. This will help me regain my perspective on this (borderline psychotic) situation. I just need to write this crap down in a letter to "Eugenio" which I never intend on sending to him! (Aaaaahhhhh!) So here it goes:
“Eugenio, you foolish Jedi Apprentice… until you learn to master your feelings and take control of your emotions you will never become a Jedi Master (bummer!). You must learn to let go of your emotion and fear, because fear leads to anger and anger leads to the 'dark side' (but apparently you've already tapped into that). You need to let go of all of any attachments that may lead you to fear and therefore anger (namely me... Please forget you ever met me!). Otherwise, my Youngling Jedi Knight you will end up writing down every tedious thought that runs through your warped brain and will foolishly share it on Instant Messenger. This rash behavior will reveal to the world that you are not a Jedi at all, but simply a cross between Woody Allen and David Koresh! You must learn to bring balance to the competing forces (I mean voices...) in your head! May the force be with you. - Jane"
I thought to myself, that’s funny… I don’t have anything in particular that I need to talk to him about. I guess it will have to wait until Monday, because I’m busy right now. I didn’t call him back. (Honestly, I was still a little weirded out that he had stopped by my work without warning on Friday night.) Instead I met up with “40 Year Old”. I will detail that date in my next posting, but this posting is dedicated exclusively to “Eugenio”.
I came into work on Monday and “Eugenio” instant messaged me. I apologized for not calling and explained that my Sunday was extremely busy and I didn’t have time. (He still hadn’t seemed to grasp the extent of my business. He wasn’t my only commitment.) He seemed fine with my explanation, but immediately wanted to know when we could see each other next. I told him the only day that could possibly work was Tuesday evening. He told me that he had Frisbee that night, but that he would leave right after to meet me. That worked out perfect, because I had a happy hour that I wanted to attend with some old co-workers. (I hadn’t seen them since last fall.) Actually, even though it worked out fine… I wasn’t feeling “Eugenio” at all anymore. He seemed whiney and needy. I wasn’t looking forward to our “date”, but he sure was. He told me in an email on Tuesday, “Jane, I’m really looking forward to seeing you tonight. See you later Cutie Pie.” (Gross, please don’t refer to me as a piece of food… I didn’t want to be anywhere near his mouth.)
The plan was to meet up around 9:00 p.m. Well, the happy hour with my old co-workers was a riot. The happy hour was late getting started and I could tell it was going last a while. I told my friends that I had to get going, but they used their peer pressure to convince me to stick around and hang out with them. (I caved.)
I called “Eugenio” at 7:45 and left the following message, “Hey, I feel really bad saying this, but I really want to hang out with my friends. We got a late start and I haven’t seen them since Sept. I was wondering if we could reschedule?” I told him to go ahead and go out with his friends after Frisbee. (Yes, I cancelled again!) I felt so relieved.
“Eugenio” called back and left a message. I can’t remember exactly what it said, but I know he wasn’t happy and that we’d talk about it tomorrow. (I didn’t realize what I was in for.)
Now the story really begins. The following is an ACTUAL transcript of the conversation that took place between us over Instant Messenger. Enjoy!
Eugenio says:
hello
Jane says:
hey
Eugenio says:
So, tell me what’s going on?
Jane says:
Eugenio... my life is extremely complicated right now. I have a billion things flying through my head.
Eugenio says:
I'm not trying to make your life more complicated. Maybe I am complicating things... but not intentionally
I dont need a lot, you know. I am not high maintenance. I feel like you've treated me really poorly blowing me off a few times in the past 4 days and it's really just hurtful. And if you want to get rid of me I can think of more civilized ways to do it.
Jane says:
I know that you want to pursue a dating relationship with me, but I can't give you that... I don't even have time for myself.
Eugenio says:
But if that is not the case then please we just need to talk.
Jane says:
I admit that I blew you off last night. My friends and I were all running late. I hadn't seen them since Sept. and I wanted to catch up.
Eugenio says:
That's fine...
Jane says:
But Saturday night I was exhausted. I'd worked a double shift Friday night, ran myself ragged from
8:30 Sat. morning until 2 p.m. running errands... and then worked 8 hours at my retail job.
Eugenio says:
Yeah I believe it.
Jane says:
I looked terrible and felt terrible and then I got a call from my mom and had some important things to talk to her about on the phone. Can’t you understand that?
Eugenio says:
It's not even that, I understand you're busy. I am busy too... And I know last night was a hard situation.
Jane says:
No... I am beyond busy. The last 2 weeks of my life have been a circus.
Eugenio says:
I kinda got that feeling. And whether or not you believe it, I am OK with that…
Jane says:
Professionally, with my Family, with my friends. I have too much going on.
Eugenio says:
But you have to understand that you don’t seem to be very good at understanding how what you say and do is interpreted by other people, or how it makes them feel. The cumulative effect of Saturday night, then not calling me on Sunday when you said you would, and then blowing me off last night. It is hurtful. If you were any other girl, I wouldn’t bother.
Jane says:
So why are you bothering?
Eugenio says:
I honestly don’t think you're trying to be mean on purpose. I mean correct me if I'm wrong, but I think I “get” you a little bit and I understand a little of how your mind works. So, I am willing to be put on the back burner. I am patient...understanding. If it's truly just a bad time right now, I understand. If that isn’t the case and it is the “weirdness” you felt the other night when we kissed, or if it's because you're not interested in me, then just be up front about it!
Jane says:
You deserve more than I can give you.
Eugenio says:
bah!
Jane says:
You're a great guy.
Eugenio says:
You let me make the decision about what I deserve… and how much I am willing to put up with. So the bottom line is… Is this a time/life/circumstance issue between us, or is it that you just aren’t that into me?
Eugenio says:
? Well ?
Jane says:
Listen, we've been on 4 dates. We are still getting to know each other. I feel like you've jumped into this and are trying to force it. You claim you aren't high maintenance, but it sure feels like it. I have to go to a meeting right now. We can talk about this more this afternoon.
Eugenio says:
Ugh... you're right... let's talk this afternoon.
(Pause from this conversation… I was really annoyed at this point in the conversation. I was at work and he was really disrupting me. However, I wanted to nip this situation in the bud… so I picked up the conversation towards the end of the day. It starts to get really weird!)
Eugenio says:
So can I call you for a few minutes? Its easier over the phone I think.
Jane says:
Honestly, no… I'm piling through reports in between typing and reading.
Eugenio says:
Ok, well I'll do my best writing then. Basically, you are right. I have been forcing things, or trying to (unsuccessfully). But it's pretty simple... It's just been a while since I've seen potential...most girls are boring or uninteresting or unchallenging. You are all of those things! I just got a bit excited… er…wait… You’re NOT any of those things, is what I mean. It wasn’t even about you so much as I got excited about the concept… the hope. To be honest on Sunday I went through a John Favreau 'Swingers' moment and what I ended up doing was just writing down all this crap that was swimming in my head. I put it into a letter which I never intend to send. Anyway, it helped me refocus and regain my perspective. That is what I was going to talk with you about on Tuesday. I know I haven’t even been myself and it's just been very strange. I can understand I've been giving off vibes like I am diving in head first and sort of over-eager. But, in reality that's not how I am, you just had me twisted up and I needed to un-twist a bit. I needed to regain my composure and realize what was going on. I don’t know if that makes sense.
Jane says:
The last few relationships and dating situations I've been in... were with people whose calendars were as crammed as mine. I was flexible with last minute changes and they were flexible with last minute changes. You have to have everything planned out. You are a big talker and feel neglected if someone doesn’t have time to engage in a conversation with you. I'm not a phone talker… unless I have something important to say.
Eugenio says:
I'm not either! Honestly, I am super busy. It’s just starting to gear up. Listen, the schedule does not bother me one bit. It’s just uncertainty that got to me… We all have our little foibles and I just got wound up a bit.
Jane says:
Eugenio... I don't think we "work" in a dating sense.
Eugenio says:
Well, I think we do pretty well. What hasn’t been working besides my eagerness? I mean we've had a good times, right? When we're actually face to face.
Jane says:
Yes I have a good time with you, but you became insecure and uncertain before there was a chance for anything to even become certain... 2 weeks?
Eugenio says:
I appreciate the candor, even if it won’t change anything.
Jane says:
I feel like there is a lot of nonsense inbetween our face to face meetings and that is starting to bother me.
Eugenio says:
Ah you misinterpret. You see I totally feel the same way! All this time people have been asking me... I mean my friends have been asking me… ‘Tell me about Jane, tell me how it’s going!’ I say to them, ‘Well, it's great when we're face to face, we have a good time and things feel good... but when we're not in front of each other it's all weird.’ That’s the truth! The thing about it is, the weirdness in between just made me feel uncertain, that's all. And I didn’t know how to interpret it, or deal with it. I guess I overanalyze everything.
Jane says:
Eugenio, stop typing for a second! Let me get a word in. I can barely keep up with your thoughts.
Eugenio says:
So things were just screwed up in my head until Sunday. Then I was able to regain my clarity and realized that… it's been 5 dates. Why do I care? I just need to relax with what I have with you. If it happens it happens. Okay?
Jane says:
It’s only been 4 dates.
Eugenio says:
4 dates...5 dates... It hasn’t been enough for me to start acting like a retard. That’s my point.
Jane says:
Eugenio. You are an emotional man... that isn't a bad thing... but I am your polar opposite.
Eugenio says:
I'm not really an emotional man. I'm the king of compartmentalization.
Jane says:
I beg to differ... are you reading anything that you just wrote for the past 10 minutes?
Eugenio says:
I get yelled at for not being emotional enough all the damn time! What I’m expressing now isn’t emotion. It’s just me explaining what’s going on in my head when I was acting all weird with you. But then I came to the conclusion that it was insane. In any case if you have a great time with me then you can afford to see me again. I'm going to be myself from now on and if it's no good then so be it! But there's no harm in it. Relax Jane, life is beautiful, right? Give me another chance and if it sucks then we're no worse off. But, first thing to do is to get rid of Instant Messenger. I don’t think it's doing us any good.
Eugenio says:
Yo Jane! Are you there? Pay attention ADD! Ha ha.
Jane says:
Eugenio... this is just too much drama for me.
Eugenio says:
Jane? Um, but I’m not a dramatic person… there is no drama here. It's all just miscommunication.
Jane says:
I don't have the time or energy to deal with this.
Eugenio says:
Honestly, there's no drama. It's the Internet. I just think you can’t understand my ‘tone’. Besides, like I said, what's the big deal? Give the kid another chance? Listen…go on vacation, we'll talk when you get back. Remember… it’s not a big deal.
Jane says:
You're right it isn't a big deal, but you have blown it into one!
Eugenio says:
I certainly haven’t! What did you think was going to happen? If you say you're going to call someone and then don’t...and then make plans and break them short notice? How was I supposed to interpret that? Of course I thought it was a big deal, like you weren’t interested in me. You made it into an issue. I was ready to just cool my jets and have a fun night. But honestly it was pretty rude and what you did sucked. But what I'm saying is who cares? I don’t give up so easily on anything, and I think that if we can actually sit down and address this like people do, maybe it won’t seem so dramatic. So just have fun with your family this weekend and we'll talk when you get back. What's the harm in that? Just say you'll think about it so I can go home please!
Jane says:
Eugenio... I'm a rude bi*ch... the question is... why do you want to date a rude bi*ch?
Eugenio says:
I don’t think you're a rude bi*ch. Remember the first thing about me Jane… I read between the lines.
Jane says:
There is nothing to read between the lines. You're really annoying me right now...
Eugenio says:
It won’t work.
Jane says:
I don't have the time or energy to deal with this. Any desire I had to date you... is fading extremely quickly.
Eugenio says:
Speaking of drama! What the hell is so frustrating?
Jane says:
I need to go. I'm really tired of this conversation.
Eugenio says:
So that's it then?
Jane says:
Please... it's obvious from this conversation that we're in different places.
Eugenio says:
Listen up, you're being really dramatic right now. I don’t like it. I will email you next week and maybe you'll be calmed down or whatever. If you don’t reply, that's fine. I don’t care, you're a great girl but obviously something is going on with you! I've never been anything but nice to you and I surely don’t deserve to be treated like I'm not even worth a phone call. So have a great vacation. Bye. If I had a door right now I'd *expletive* slam that sh*t real hard. Then stomp around, but then I'd laugh because drama is silly and I'm just having fun.
I never responded… there was nothing to more to say. ("Eugenio" is crazy!) I didn’t want to touch that situation with a ten-foot pole.
But, I would like to take a few moments to put all these thoughts that are swimming around in my head down on paper. This will help me regain my perspective on this (borderline psychotic) situation. I just need to write this crap down in a letter to "Eugenio" which I never intend on sending to him! (Aaaaahhhhh!) So here it goes:
“Eugenio, you foolish Jedi Apprentice… until you learn to master your feelings and take control of your emotions you will never become a Jedi Master (bummer!). You must learn to let go of your emotion and fear, because fear leads to anger and anger leads to the 'dark side' (but apparently you've already tapped into that). You need to let go of all of any attachments that may lead you to fear and therefore anger (namely me... Please forget you ever met me!). Otherwise, my Youngling Jedi Knight you will end up writing down every tedious thought that runs through your warped brain and will foolishly share it on Instant Messenger. This rash behavior will reveal to the world that you are not a Jedi at all, but simply a cross between Woody Allen and David Koresh! You must learn to bring balance to the competing forces (I mean voices...) in your head! May the force be with you. - Jane"
Sunday, May 22, 2005
Trouble With "The Talk"
My Thursday night date with "Eugenio" didn't go as well as I had hoped. We went to dinner and the topic of our conversation immediately became "me". He kept telling me that I was mysterious and that he was very intrigued with me. I told him my life was an open book and that whatever questions he had about me I would answer them honestly.
On a side note: As cool as "Eugenio" is, the more I hang out with him, the more annoyed I get with him. These are the reasons: 1. I feel like he puts me up on a pedestal. I don't think he really wants to get to know "me", because then I won't be 'perfect' in his mind anymore. That bothers me. 2. Every time we end a date, he wants to know when he can see me again. When I tell him I don't know and that I have to check my daytimer, he seems irritated. He doesn't understand that I have an extremely busy schedule. I've got two jobs, other friends that I have standing plans with, and I have a regular schedule at the gym that I am unwilling to give up. (Ever since my first sabbatical, the gym has become a priority over boys.) 3. He calls me almost every day, in addition to the instant messages he sends me at work and the emails he sends. He also stopped by my retail job unexpectedly... to surprise me. (That weirded me out a little.)
Back to the story: After my invitation for him to ask me anything "Eugenio" began with, "Jane, sometimes I wonder whether you even think about me, if I'm not standing directly in front of you. Do you think about me during the day?" (Hhhmmmmm, how do I answer this one?)
I paused for a good 20 seconds before I answered and said, "Yes." I was getting nervous waiting for his next question.
"Well Jane, I was talking to my friends about this (Oh no, I hate sentences that start like this!) and I told them how every date with you feels like a first date, because it takes a while for you to warm up to me. I just don't know where I stand with you and I have to be honest with you. I'm somewhat smitten with you. "
I had to pull out the big guns. This was our 4th date and I needed to have "the talk" with him. "Eugenio, if you really want to know everything that's going on in my life, I will tell you. Do you really want to know? "
He answered, "I'm not sure, now."
"Well Eugenio, I'm going to tell you anyway so you know where you stand with me. Do you remember back when I told you why I didn't call you the first time you asked me out... because I was seeing someone? "(For your background information: He had asked me out the first time and I never called him back because I was in a relationship with "40 Year Old". The second time he asked me out I was ending the relationship with "40 Year Old" and I emailed him shortly after. I had told him in one of our first emails that the reason I never called him the first time was because I was dating someone else.)
Eugenio nodded his head slowly up and down. "Eugenio, I still talk with that guy periodically. We aren't dating, but we do still talk. That's one of the things that has been distracting me from you."
He looked at me and said, "I thought you had made that story up about seeing someone else, so that I wouldn't feel bad about you not calling me back after asking you out."
I nodded my head slowly back and forth, "No, that was the truth." Eugenio wasn't enjoying this conversation, but he needed to hear it. "Eugenio, I don't know how I feel about you. I'm not sure if I'm feeling 'it'. (This is so hard to say and so hard to say nicely.) I need to think about this. I have a lot of things going on with my job and my life right now. (which are part of the reason I have had to take a long-term sabbatical from dating, but the details are too long and boring to post on this blog.) My plans are extremely uncertain at this point. I just need some time to think. Is that okay?"
I thought he got it, but later on it became clear to me that he didn't. My little speech only made him want to "help me through this hard time". He seemed to think I needed rescuing. We were supposed to hang out last night with some of his friends. I was so exhausted from working all day that I called him and cancelled. (I just wanted to go to bed.) He wanted to reschedule that moment. I told him I would call him on Sunday to reschedule.
Glancing at my calendar... it doesn't look like I'll be able to fit him in until after Memorial Day. (I'm taking a much needed vacation and going home to visit my family.)
On a side note: As cool as "Eugenio" is, the more I hang out with him, the more annoyed I get with him. These are the reasons: 1. I feel like he puts me up on a pedestal. I don't think he really wants to get to know "me", because then I won't be 'perfect' in his mind anymore. That bothers me. 2. Every time we end a date, he wants to know when he can see me again. When I tell him I don't know and that I have to check my daytimer, he seems irritated. He doesn't understand that I have an extremely busy schedule. I've got two jobs, other friends that I have standing plans with, and I have a regular schedule at the gym that I am unwilling to give up. (Ever since my first sabbatical, the gym has become a priority over boys.) 3. He calls me almost every day, in addition to the instant messages he sends me at work and the emails he sends. He also stopped by my retail job unexpectedly... to surprise me. (That weirded me out a little.)
Back to the story: After my invitation for him to ask me anything "Eugenio" began with, "Jane, sometimes I wonder whether you even think about me, if I'm not standing directly in front of you. Do you think about me during the day?" (Hhhmmmmm, how do I answer this one?)
I paused for a good 20 seconds before I answered and said, "Yes." I was getting nervous waiting for his next question.
"Well Jane, I was talking to my friends about this (Oh no, I hate sentences that start like this!) and I told them how every date with you feels like a first date, because it takes a while for you to warm up to me. I just don't know where I stand with you and I have to be honest with you. I'm somewhat smitten with you. "
I had to pull out the big guns. This was our 4th date and I needed to have "the talk" with him. "Eugenio, if you really want to know everything that's going on in my life, I will tell you. Do you really want to know? "
He answered, "I'm not sure, now."
"Well Eugenio, I'm going to tell you anyway so you know where you stand with me. Do you remember back when I told you why I didn't call you the first time you asked me out... because I was seeing someone? "(For your background information: He had asked me out the first time and I never called him back because I was in a relationship with "40 Year Old". The second time he asked me out I was ending the relationship with "40 Year Old" and I emailed him shortly after. I had told him in one of our first emails that the reason I never called him the first time was because I was dating someone else.)
Eugenio nodded his head slowly up and down. "Eugenio, I still talk with that guy periodically. We aren't dating, but we do still talk. That's one of the things that has been distracting me from you."
He looked at me and said, "I thought you had made that story up about seeing someone else, so that I wouldn't feel bad about you not calling me back after asking you out."
I nodded my head slowly back and forth, "No, that was the truth." Eugenio wasn't enjoying this conversation, but he needed to hear it. "Eugenio, I don't know how I feel about you. I'm not sure if I'm feeling 'it'. (This is so hard to say and so hard to say nicely.) I need to think about this. I have a lot of things going on with my job and my life right now. (which are part of the reason I have had to take a long-term sabbatical from dating, but the details are too long and boring to post on this blog.) My plans are extremely uncertain at this point. I just need some time to think. Is that okay?"
I thought he got it, but later on it became clear to me that he didn't. My little speech only made him want to "help me through this hard time". He seemed to think I needed rescuing. We were supposed to hang out last night with some of his friends. I was so exhausted from working all day that I called him and cancelled. (I just wanted to go to bed.) He wanted to reschedule that moment. I told him I would call him on Sunday to reschedule.
Glancing at my calendar... it doesn't look like I'll be able to fit him in until after Memorial Day. (I'm taking a much needed vacation and going home to visit my family.)
Thursday, May 19, 2005
Farewell "40 Year Old"
It had been a full week since I last heard from "40 Year Old". I knew he was traveling and my expectations in him had remained low since we stopped dating. I woke up this morning and something in my gut told me that I would hear from him today. (My psychic powers perhaps?)
By 11:00 a.m. I had received an email from him. "Jane, Hey what are you doing today? Want to skip out on work this afternoon and go for a walk around the lake with me? -40 Year Old... p.s. I received the job offer in Boston. I'm leaving in 4 - 6 weeks."
Well, I knew this day would come. It's for the best. I needed some definite closure on this situation and I finally got it. I emailed a message back, "Dear 40 Year Old, I'm so happy for you. This is a fantastic opportunity. You're going to do great! I can't hang out this afternoon. I have too much going on at work, I won't be able to take the afternoon off. I'm really glad I got to meet you and had the chance to know you a little. Best wishes. -Jane"
I thought I had gotten the last word in. My brief and professional email sealed the deal. I had made a clean break from the situation (or had I?).
Within minutes I received another email. "Dearest Jane, 'Best wishes'? Is that the best you can do? I think we spent enough time together that you can say you got to know me more than a 'little'. I want to go out and celebrate my new job. I'm taking you out to dinner Sunday night. I won't take 'no' for an answer. Meet me at my place at 6:00 p.m. Admirably and Affectionately Yours, -40 Year Old"
I emailed him back, "See you Sunday. -Jane" (I couldn't say no, but even if I had said no, you read his email... he wouldn't have accepted my rejection.)
By 11:00 a.m. I had received an email from him. "Jane, Hey what are you doing today? Want to skip out on work this afternoon and go for a walk around the lake with me? -40 Year Old... p.s. I received the job offer in Boston. I'm leaving in 4 - 6 weeks."
Well, I knew this day would come. It's for the best. I needed some definite closure on this situation and I finally got it. I emailed a message back, "Dear 40 Year Old, I'm so happy for you. This is a fantastic opportunity. You're going to do great! I can't hang out this afternoon. I have too much going on at work, I won't be able to take the afternoon off. I'm really glad I got to meet you and had the chance to know you a little. Best wishes. -Jane"
I thought I had gotten the last word in. My brief and professional email sealed the deal. I had made a clean break from the situation (or had I?).
Within minutes I received another email. "Dearest Jane, 'Best wishes'? Is that the best you can do? I think we spent enough time together that you can say you got to know me more than a 'little'. I want to go out and celebrate my new job. I'm taking you out to dinner Sunday night. I won't take 'no' for an answer. Meet me at my place at 6:00 p.m. Admirably and Affectionately Yours, -40 Year Old"
I emailed him back, "See you Sunday. -Jane" (I couldn't say no, but even if I had said no, you read his email... he wouldn't have accepted my rejection.)
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
Suffering From Dating Exhaustion
As many of you are aware; I have been losing some steam with my frantic dating pace. I’m pooped! Trying to coordinate schedules, trying to remember people’s names (I’ve almost slipped up a few times and started to call them by their blog names). I'm annoyed and tired of sharing my time. I woke up yesterday morning convinced that I needed to take a break. If I don’t, I’ll risk becoming a jaded and bitter dater.
I’m going out with “Eugenio” tomorrow. I’m going to talk to him and let him know that as much as like hanging out with him, I can’t offer him more than friendship. (It’s me not him… blah blah blah) I don’t plan on telling him the whole truth… which is “I’m tired and bored of dating.” Instead, I’m going to explain to him that I have some things I need to figure out. (Which if you think about it… is the honest truth! I need to figure out why I attract some of these guys.)
I stopped emailing with “Darin”. I’m going to step back from that situation and let it go. But, if he tries to contact me again, I will definitely let you all know.
I’ve had some great conversations with many of my readers over the past few days:
“The Little Prince” thinks I need to be more protective of my time and more discriminate in my dating choices. His exact words: “Seriously Jane, This whole "give everyone a chance" theory that you have is rubbish with regard to dating.”
“The Little Prince” was actually in attendance at the event where I was introduced to “Creepy John” and “Mr. Personality”. He watched the entire saga unfold. This was his assessment of the situation, “Jane, I could have told you “Creepy John” was creepy the night you met him and “Mr. Personality” stands for “Mr. Poser”… straight up!” (Little Prince, I agree with you… even though sometimes I feel like you are way up high on your own planet looking down at the rest of us… while you attempt to catch shooting stars in your hand… and sail away with them through the sky.)
“Cali-Goose” (formerly referred to as Hermosa Beach) thinks I’m a dumbass and too nice to these guys (except he used expletives). I disagree with his first comment, but concur with the second. “Cali-Goose” seems to think I won’t stick with my commitment not to date… at least not for more than a few weeks. (This time I swear I’m really going to try to stick to it… at least until the next really cool guy asks me out… hee hee.)
One of my newest readers is a man I dated a few years ago. His comment to me was: “Jane, I am so glad you weren’t writing this website when we were dating.” Then he added, “Would you have given me a cool name? What would my name have been?” I told him he would have been called “Mr. Full of Himself”. He liked that!
So, I guess this post is my official announcement that I’M GOING ON A LONG TERM DATING SABBATICAL (FYI “long term” means a month or two). I promise I will continue to post updates if anything new happens with “40 Year Old”, “Creepy John” or “Darin”, but not with “Eugenio”. He’s a great guy. I don’t want him subjected anymore to the scrutiny of this website. (He deserves better than me.)
This website is now (for the period of my dating sabbatical) dedicated to documenting funny stories of “Jane” turning down dates (with my own personal comments). I hope you enjoy these stories just as much!
I’m going out with “Eugenio” tomorrow. I’m going to talk to him and let him know that as much as like hanging out with him, I can’t offer him more than friendship. (It’s me not him… blah blah blah) I don’t plan on telling him the whole truth… which is “I’m tired and bored of dating.” Instead, I’m going to explain to him that I have some things I need to figure out. (Which if you think about it… is the honest truth! I need to figure out why I attract some of these guys.)
I stopped emailing with “Darin”. I’m going to step back from that situation and let it go. But, if he tries to contact me again, I will definitely let you all know.
I’ve had some great conversations with many of my readers over the past few days:
“The Little Prince” thinks I need to be more protective of my time and more discriminate in my dating choices. His exact words: “Seriously Jane, This whole "give everyone a chance" theory that you have is rubbish with regard to dating.”
“The Little Prince” was actually in attendance at the event where I was introduced to “Creepy John” and “Mr. Personality”. He watched the entire saga unfold. This was his assessment of the situation, “Jane, I could have told you “Creepy John” was creepy the night you met him and “Mr. Personality” stands for “Mr. Poser”… straight up!” (Little Prince, I agree with you… even though sometimes I feel like you are way up high on your own planet looking down at the rest of us… while you attempt to catch shooting stars in your hand… and sail away with them through the sky.)
“Cali-Goose” (formerly referred to as Hermosa Beach) thinks I’m a dumbass and too nice to these guys (except he used expletives). I disagree with his first comment, but concur with the second. “Cali-Goose” seems to think I won’t stick with my commitment not to date… at least not for more than a few weeks. (This time I swear I’m really going to try to stick to it… at least until the next really cool guy asks me out… hee hee.)
One of my newest readers is a man I dated a few years ago. His comment to me was: “Jane, I am so glad you weren’t writing this website when we were dating.” Then he added, “Would you have given me a cool name? What would my name have been?” I told him he would have been called “Mr. Full of Himself”. He liked that!
So, I guess this post is my official announcement that I’M GOING ON A LONG TERM DATING SABBATICAL (FYI “long term” means a month or two). I promise I will continue to post updates if anything new happens with “40 Year Old”, “Creepy John” or “Darin”, but not with “Eugenio”. He’s a great guy. I don’t want him subjected anymore to the scrutiny of this website. (He deserves better than me.)
This website is now (for the period of my dating sabbatical) dedicated to documenting funny stories of “Jane” turning down dates (with my own personal comments). I hope you enjoy these stories just as much!
Sunday, May 15, 2005
Eugenio-A-No-Go
After the softball game on Friday night, I went to Eugenio's house for the party. He has a great group of friends and we all had a fantastic time. Around 12:30 everyone started to gather their things and head out... including myself. Eugenio asked me to hang out a little longer. I told him it was getting late and that I had to work tomorrow morning. He asked me again to stay just a little longer. I agreed.
I'm sure you all can guess what happened. I thanked him for a nice evening and blah blah blah... I hemmed and hawed (I think that's the expression?). Then he came in for the kiss.
I know what you're all thinking. I should have talked with him. I should have told him that I didn't know how I felt about him and that I'm not sure if a dating relationship was the type of relationship I wanted to pursue with him. But honestly, I never had the opportunity to bring up the subject prior to that moment.
I considered our first 2 dates as "getting to know each other" dates (so the subject never came up). This third date (I'm not sure you can call it that) was a group activity followed by another group activity followed by a good night kiss. The opportunity never came up!
Anyway, the kiss was fine. He was a gentleman. But did I feel anything? Unfortunately no.
Here is the question I want to ask:
Why is it that when you meet a nice person; one that is kind; one that makes you laugh; and one that has a cool group of friends... why is it that you just don't "feel anything" for them beyond friendship?
I've tried dating when there wasn't any "initial chemistry". I thought maybe it would show up later. However, I know from experience that this doesn't work. If chemistry isn't there at the beginning... it doesn't just magically appear later... no matter how much you wish it would. (But that's another story.)
I ran into two of my regular readers (Willy Mahooney & Leenoka Peterson... a charming and fun loving couple, that you can't help but be a little envious of :). They lectured me on not having "the talk" with "Eugenio". (Yes, I know you guys are right.) After the lecture, Leenoka made a funny comment... "Jane, How do you get so many dates. You've gone out with 4 (potentially 5) men in a matter of 3 weeks!"
Leenoka, I don't know the answer. Perhaps, it's because I say "yes" when a lot of women would say no. Maybe it's because I'm willing to give just about anyone a chance (a first date). However, as we can all see... quantity does not necessarily mean quality!
I'm sure you all can guess what happened. I thanked him for a nice evening and blah blah blah... I hemmed and hawed (I think that's the expression?). Then he came in for the kiss.
I know what you're all thinking. I should have talked with him. I should have told him that I didn't know how I felt about him and that I'm not sure if a dating relationship was the type of relationship I wanted to pursue with him. But honestly, I never had the opportunity to bring up the subject prior to that moment.
I considered our first 2 dates as "getting to know each other" dates (so the subject never came up). This third date (I'm not sure you can call it that) was a group activity followed by another group activity followed by a good night kiss. The opportunity never came up!
Anyway, the kiss was fine. He was a gentleman. But did I feel anything? Unfortunately no.
Here is the question I want to ask:
Why is it that when you meet a nice person; one that is kind; one that makes you laugh; and one that has a cool group of friends... why is it that you just don't "feel anything" for them beyond friendship?
I've tried dating when there wasn't any "initial chemistry". I thought maybe it would show up later. However, I know from experience that this doesn't work. If chemistry isn't there at the beginning... it doesn't just magically appear later... no matter how much you wish it would. (But that's another story.)
I ran into two of my regular readers (Willy Mahooney & Leenoka Peterson... a charming and fun loving couple, that you can't help but be a little envious of :). They lectured me on not having "the talk" with "Eugenio". (Yes, I know you guys are right.) After the lecture, Leenoka made a funny comment... "Jane, How do you get so many dates. You've gone out with 4 (potentially 5) men in a matter of 3 weeks!"
Leenoka, I don't know the answer. Perhaps, it's because I say "yes" when a lot of women would say no. Maybe it's because I'm willing to give just about anyone a chance (a first date). However, as we can all see... quantity does not necessarily mean quality!
Friday, May 13, 2005
Thursday Evening Date
My date with "Eugenio" on Thursday evening went really well. Great wine, great food & great company. No complaints... no drama... therefore... nothing to write about. (Go figure!)
He invited me to play softball with him and his friends tonight. Then everyone is coming over to his place afterwards for bbq. Should be fun. (I'm still not sure if I'm going to kiss him.)
He invited me to play softball with him and his friends tonight. Then everyone is coming over to his place afterwards for bbq. Should be fun. (I'm still not sure if I'm going to kiss him.)
A Potential Spy! (PART 2)
I almost laughed out loud when I read “Darin’s” sushi invitation. If he really wanted to hear the story, so be it! (I was going to tell him) I drafted an email to “Darin” detailing the entire evening with “Creepy John”. I told him the truth (in its most brutal form). I figured that even if “Darin” was a spy for “Creepy John”; the story I was about to tell him could only prompt one of two responses:
1. “Darin” would feel like an ass for being associated with a creep like “John”; or
2. “Darin” would report back to “Creepy John” or forward the email to him. This would force “Creepy John” to take another look at how crappy he treated me. Maybe then he would realize why I don’t want to see him again.
I wrapped up my email to “Darin” with the following question:
“Darin, Was that the story you were expecting to hear? “John” is lucky that my family lives out of state... otherwise he would have gotten pounded by my brothers for the way he behaved. –Jane”
“P.S. I don’t like sushi.”
The email that “Darin” sent back to me, gave me the impression that he had decided to go with Response No. 1.
“Jane, That definitely was not what I expected to hear. I’m so sorry that I had anything to do with you meeting John. –Darin”
Well, those of you who know me… know that I’m not extremely good at being mean to people (even those who deserve it). I could tell (by the tone of “Darin’s” email) that he felt bad. So I sent a short email back to him:
“Darin, I don't blame you. I don't think anyone could have foreseen that disastrous date... The only reason I even bothered to talk with “John” afterwards was because I thought that maybe he simply had too much to drink... and had false courage. However, after talking with him on the phone, I have come to see that he’s just that much of an idiot. -Jane”
My email must have buffered the blow of my previous email to a point that “Darin” regrouped and sent me this:
“Jane, How do you feel about Japanese Steak Houses? – Darin”
Needless to say… I love Japanese Steak Houses! (I couldn't lie to him) So, I accepted his invitation (date to be announced).
I went back and forth on whether to accept, but I received some “fan feedback” and was convinced by one of my regular blog readers to go ahead and meet him, so long as it was clear that I’m paying for myself. (and trust me “TX Heat Her” I will… I will!)
1. “Darin” would feel like an ass for being associated with a creep like “John”; or
2. “Darin” would report back to “Creepy John” or forward the email to him. This would force “Creepy John” to take another look at how crappy he treated me. Maybe then he would realize why I don’t want to see him again.
I wrapped up my email to “Darin” with the following question:
“Darin, Was that the story you were expecting to hear? “John” is lucky that my family lives out of state... otherwise he would have gotten pounded by my brothers for the way he behaved. –Jane”
“P.S. I don’t like sushi.”
The email that “Darin” sent back to me, gave me the impression that he had decided to go with Response No. 1.
“Jane, That definitely was not what I expected to hear. I’m so sorry that I had anything to do with you meeting John. –Darin”
Well, those of you who know me… know that I’m not extremely good at being mean to people (even those who deserve it). I could tell (by the tone of “Darin’s” email) that he felt bad. So I sent a short email back to him:
“Darin, I don't blame you. I don't think anyone could have foreseen that disastrous date... The only reason I even bothered to talk with “John” afterwards was because I thought that maybe he simply had too much to drink... and had false courage. However, after talking with him on the phone, I have come to see that he’s just that much of an idiot. -Jane”
My email must have buffered the blow of my previous email to a point that “Darin” regrouped and sent me this:
“Jane, How do you feel about Japanese Steak Houses? – Darin”
Needless to say… I love Japanese Steak Houses! (I couldn't lie to him) So, I accepted his invitation (date to be announced).
I went back and forth on whether to accept, but I received some “fan feedback” and was convinced by one of my regular blog readers to go ahead and meet him, so long as it was clear that I’m paying for myself. (and trust me “TX Heat Her” I will… I will!)
Thursday, May 12, 2005
A Potential Spy! (PART 1)
If you can remember back a few weeks to one of my early posts entitled “Dating and Professional Associations” (Click on the April Archives to read it again), you might remember that I briefly mentioned a man I called “Darin”. “Darin” had introduced me to “Creepy John”.
Because it seemed insignificant to me at the time, I never mentioned this aspect of the story in my blog. Right before “Darin” introduced me to “Creepy John”, he made a comment that struck me funny. He said, “Tell me what you think of ‘Creepy John’. I’m curious what your impression of him is.”
The next day, after I received an email from “Creepy John” asking if he could call me that weekend, I received a phone call at my office from “Darin”. I remember thinking, why is he calling me? When I picked up the phone, “Darin” began talking to me as if we were old friends:
“Hey Jane, it’s “Darin” from last night. How are you doing? I was just wondering if you had heard from “(Creepy) John” at all? So what did you think of him? Are you two going out? Do you like him?” (Who was this guy?)
The phone call and the questions took me by surprise. I had a hundred thoughts going through my head. (Many of you may think that is a few hundred thoughts less than normal, and… you’re probably right.)
Why was a virtual stranger calling me, asking me these Junior High questions? Did “Creepy John” tell him to call me? Why does he want to know this? Is he reporting back to “Creepy John”? Based upon “Darin’s” behavior, I thought “Creepy John” was the more mature of the two.
I was guarded in my answers, but told him, “We’ll I didn’t talk to "John” very long yesterday evening, but he seemed nice. He emailed me today and I told him that he could call me this weekend. Um, I’m really busy. Can we talk some other time? I have to go.”
Well, that conversation (which was the day before my date with “Creepy John”) was the last time I heard from “Darin”. Until this week!
Monday morning I received the following email from “Darin”:
“Jane, So I asked John how things were going with you and I received a somewhat vague reply which made feel like I should ask you. So did John blow it big time or what? -Darin”
I was perplexed to say the least. Was this an attempt by “Creepy John” to have more contact with me via his friend “Darin”? (Oh the drama!)
I waited until late in the afternoon to reply, with the following short but poignant question back to him:
“Why do you want to know?”
Within minutes a reply from “Darin” shot back to my Inbox, “Jane, I didn’t mean to pry. I was just thinking that maybe I shouldn’t be introducing "John" to women. He’s a big boy and can manage on his own. I just find it fun to play matchmaker sometimes.” (Hmmm, this wasn’t the answer I expected. I thought he would break down under my direct questioning and admit to being “Creepy John’s” crony and spy.)
Monday’s workday ended… this conversation would have to continue later (but the suspense continued to build). Tuesday morning I still had doubts. I wasn’t sure about this. Did I even want to communicate with this guy? My curiosity got the better of me, so I sent an email back.
“Darin, Yeah, John blew it. Are you two good friends? Does he know you're emailing me? –Jane”
Within an hour “Darin” had responded
“Jane,
No, we’re not good friends. We just see each other at the professional association events from time to time. Calling us ‘just plain old friends’ is probably a stretch. I’m still trying to figure John out. Between him blowing it with you and a couple of stories that he’s told about his past relationships, I’m starting to get the feeling that John is no good at relationships. John seems pretty all right in a general social setting, like the event you met him at. Fortunately, I don’t have to worry about figuring John out, but he does make me reconsider my own abilities to read people.
John doesn’t know I’m emailing you and I won’t mention it to him. I don’t see anything wrong with that. I don’t owe John anything and if you confide in me then I owe it to you to keep that confidence. I must admit, I am curious as to what he did to blow it. My impression from both you and him is that he committed some major fax pa. My curiosity won’t kill me if you don’t want to talk about it though.
Do you like sushi? I haven’t been in a while and you could easily bargain some sushi out me in exchange for the story. When I go I usually go to Sushi Tango in Uptown.
-Darin”
In case any of you missed that, "Darin" just asked me out!!! (Can this situation get any stranger? To be continued…)
Because it seemed insignificant to me at the time, I never mentioned this aspect of the story in my blog. Right before “Darin” introduced me to “Creepy John”, he made a comment that struck me funny. He said, “Tell me what you think of ‘Creepy John’. I’m curious what your impression of him is.”
The next day, after I received an email from “Creepy John” asking if he could call me that weekend, I received a phone call at my office from “Darin”. I remember thinking, why is he calling me? When I picked up the phone, “Darin” began talking to me as if we were old friends:
“Hey Jane, it’s “Darin” from last night. How are you doing? I was just wondering if you had heard from “(Creepy) John” at all? So what did you think of him? Are you two going out? Do you like him?” (Who was this guy?)
The phone call and the questions took me by surprise. I had a hundred thoughts going through my head. (Many of you may think that is a few hundred thoughts less than normal, and… you’re probably right.)
Why was a virtual stranger calling me, asking me these Junior High questions? Did “Creepy John” tell him to call me? Why does he want to know this? Is he reporting back to “Creepy John”? Based upon “Darin’s” behavior, I thought “Creepy John” was the more mature of the two.
I was guarded in my answers, but told him, “We’ll I didn’t talk to "John” very long yesterday evening, but he seemed nice. He emailed me today and I told him that he could call me this weekend. Um, I’m really busy. Can we talk some other time? I have to go.”
Well, that conversation (which was the day before my date with “Creepy John”) was the last time I heard from “Darin”. Until this week!
Monday morning I received the following email from “Darin”:
“Jane, So I asked John how things were going with you and I received a somewhat vague reply which made feel like I should ask you. So did John blow it big time or what? -Darin”
I was perplexed to say the least. Was this an attempt by “Creepy John” to have more contact with me via his friend “Darin”? (Oh the drama!)
I waited until late in the afternoon to reply, with the following short but poignant question back to him:
“Why do you want to know?”
Within minutes a reply from “Darin” shot back to my Inbox, “Jane, I didn’t mean to pry. I was just thinking that maybe I shouldn’t be introducing "John" to women. He’s a big boy and can manage on his own. I just find it fun to play matchmaker sometimes.” (Hmmm, this wasn’t the answer I expected. I thought he would break down under my direct questioning and admit to being “Creepy John’s” crony and spy.)
Monday’s workday ended… this conversation would have to continue later (but the suspense continued to build). Tuesday morning I still had doubts. I wasn’t sure about this. Did I even want to communicate with this guy? My curiosity got the better of me, so I sent an email back.
“Darin, Yeah, John blew it. Are you two good friends? Does he know you're emailing me? –Jane”
Within an hour “Darin” had responded
“Jane,
No, we’re not good friends. We just see each other at the professional association events from time to time. Calling us ‘just plain old friends’ is probably a stretch. I’m still trying to figure John out. Between him blowing it with you and a couple of stories that he’s told about his past relationships, I’m starting to get the feeling that John is no good at relationships. John seems pretty all right in a general social setting, like the event you met him at. Fortunately, I don’t have to worry about figuring John out, but he does make me reconsider my own abilities to read people.
John doesn’t know I’m emailing you and I won’t mention it to him. I don’t see anything wrong with that. I don’t owe John anything and if you confide in me then I owe it to you to keep that confidence. I must admit, I am curious as to what he did to blow it. My impression from both you and him is that he committed some major fax pa. My curiosity won’t kill me if you don’t want to talk about it though.
Do you like sushi? I haven’t been in a while and you could easily bargain some sushi out me in exchange for the story. When I go I usually go to Sushi Tango in Uptown.
-Darin”
In case any of you missed that, "Darin" just asked me out!!! (Can this situation get any stranger? To be continued…)
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Mid Week Update
I think "Eugenio" is right. Blog sites are only exciting when bad things happen to the person writing it. Lately, my life has been relatively normal, and I'm finding I have less to write about. That is bad for all of you reading along, but relaxing for me.
I would like to give a shout out to my Grandmother, who started reading my blog this week. Her response after reading my postings, "I don't think I would like to be dating in this day and age." (I couldn't have said it better myself!)
Now for the update:
"Eugenio" and I are going out Thursday evening. We've been emailing daily and he keeps getting cooler and cooler.
The blatantly flirtatious emails between myself and "40 Year Old" culminated in a blatantly flirtatious phone call yesterday evening. We ended up talking for a while. He updated me on his latest business ventures and all the traveling he's been doing. Then we discussed the NBA Playoffs. (Important stuff like that!) It was good to talk to him. I haven't seen him since the "Date Incident" with "Mr. Personality". (Marvan, if you keep posting negative comments whenever I bring up "40 Year Old" I won't write about him... and then you'll be out of the loop! So be nice.)
For a "Creepy John" update... stay tuned! (There is a slight twist in the story that is unfolding as we speak.)
I would like to give a shout out to my Grandmother, who started reading my blog this week. Her response after reading my postings, "I don't think I would like to be dating in this day and age." (I couldn't have said it better myself!)
Now for the update:
"Eugenio" and I are going out Thursday evening. We've been emailing daily and he keeps getting cooler and cooler.
The blatantly flirtatious emails between myself and "40 Year Old" culminated in a blatantly flirtatious phone call yesterday evening. We ended up talking for a while. He updated me on his latest business ventures and all the traveling he's been doing. Then we discussed the NBA Playoffs. (Important stuff like that!) It was good to talk to him. I haven't seen him since the "Date Incident" with "Mr. Personality". (Marvan, if you keep posting negative comments whenever I bring up "40 Year Old" I won't write about him... and then you'll be out of the loop! So be nice.)
For a "Creepy John" update... stay tuned! (There is a slight twist in the story that is unfolding as we speak.)
Sunday, May 08, 2005
Suspicious Dent In My Door
Some of you may have heard that I discovered a large dent in the passenger-side door of my car. (No, it wasn't my fault... this time.)
By my estimates the damage must have occurred somewhere between Thursday and Friday evening. Originally, I thought another vehicle had caused the damage, because there appeared to be white paint scuffed on the dent.
Upon further investigation, I could see that the white paint was in fact, bird poo. I could also see that there were "shoe tread marks" at the center of the dent. Someone kicked in my car door! (Who would do that?)
I don't live in the "best" of neighborhoods, but I've never had any problems before! Something inside of me suspects "Creepy John". But, I don't really think it could be him. He knows where I live, but he doesn't know what kind of car I drive. Unless, he's been following me... ick! (I mustn't let my paranoia run wild.)
I really don't think he could be that psycho, but I've been surprised before!
By my estimates the damage must have occurred somewhere between Thursday and Friday evening. Originally, I thought another vehicle had caused the damage, because there appeared to be white paint scuffed on the dent.
Upon further investigation, I could see that the white paint was in fact, bird poo. I could also see that there were "shoe tread marks" at the center of the dent. Someone kicked in my car door! (Who would do that?)
I don't live in the "best" of neighborhoods, but I've never had any problems before! Something inside of me suspects "Creepy John". But, I don't really think it could be him. He knows where I live, but he doesn't know what kind of car I drive. Unless, he's been following me... ick! (I mustn't let my paranoia run wild.)
I really don't think he could be that psycho, but I've been surprised before!
"40 Year Old" Update
I received an extremely short, but blatantly flirtatious email from the "40 Year Old" today. Being the fool that I am, I replied to his email... in a blatantly flirtatious manner. (Gggrrrrrr, why do I do these things?)
A Drama Free Event
I met "Eugenio" for coffee. He was normal! (What a relief!) Our mini-date turned into a three hour conversation. He is extremely interesting and easy to talk to. He wants to go out again. I told him "definitely."
Honestly, I can't make an immediate judgment as to whether "Eugenio" is someone that I want to pursue a dating relationship with, but we get along great. I think he's fun and worth getting to know better.
However, here is my dilemma... I'm always apt to meeting new people and making new friends. In the event I decide that I would rather be friends "Eugenio" instead of dating him... how do I approach the subject with him?
As my father says, "Men only have one thing on the brain. I don't care how nice they seem to be... Jane, if they have red blood flowing through their veins, they are only after one thing." (Thanks dad! The older I get... the wiser you get :)
As I was saying, "Eugenio" is someone I would love to have as a friend, but I'm not sure I want to pursue a dating relationship. So what do I do? If my dad is correct and all men are after the same thing... then "Eugenio" will likely only want to continue hanging out with me in the arena of dating.
How does a girl deal with this dilemma? Any suggestions?
On a lighter note... "Eugenio" and I stumbled onto the topic of blogs. (He brought it up, not me... and I definitely did not reveal to him that our date was the subject of my blog!) "Eugenio" made a funny observation, he said, "The only interesting blogs are the ones where the writers constantly have bad things happen to them (ie. drama).
Now, I think my blog is interesting... does this mean my life is filled with drama? And, if my life is truly filled with drama... does that mean that I'm a drama queen?
Nope, I don't think we can draw that conclusion! (Even though Austin HP... would thoroughly disagree and has categorized me as a "spaz" within the genus of drama queen. I might have to concede to that one day, but today is not that day.)
Honestly, I can't make an immediate judgment as to whether "Eugenio" is someone that I want to pursue a dating relationship with, but we get along great. I think he's fun and worth getting to know better.
However, here is my dilemma... I'm always apt to meeting new people and making new friends. In the event I decide that I would rather be friends "Eugenio" instead of dating him... how do I approach the subject with him?
As my father says, "Men only have one thing on the brain. I don't care how nice they seem to be... Jane, if they have red blood flowing through their veins, they are only after one thing." (Thanks dad! The older I get... the wiser you get :)
As I was saying, "Eugenio" is someone I would love to have as a friend, but I'm not sure I want to pursue a dating relationship. So what do I do? If my dad is correct and all men are after the same thing... then "Eugenio" will likely only want to continue hanging out with me in the arena of dating.
How does a girl deal with this dilemma? Any suggestions?
On a lighter note... "Eugenio" and I stumbled onto the topic of blogs. (He brought it up, not me... and I definitely did not reveal to him that our date was the subject of my blog!) "Eugenio" made a funny observation, he said, "The only interesting blogs are the ones where the writers constantly have bad things happen to them (ie. drama).
Now, I think my blog is interesting... does this mean my life is filled with drama? And, if my life is truly filled with drama... does that mean that I'm a drama queen?
Nope, I don't think we can draw that conclusion! (Even though Austin HP... would thoroughly disagree and has categorized me as a "spaz" within the genus of drama queen. I might have to concede to that one day, but today is not that day.)
Friday, May 06, 2005
A Coffee Date
Well, my sabbatical from dating didn't last as long as I had anticipated. I attribute it being cut short to scheduling conflicts... namely Saturday is the only time "Eugenio" and I are able to meet. It ends up, "Eugenio" lives just a few miles down the street from me. We are meeting (yes, I'm following the 'drive yourself rule') halfway. We've been exchanging emails all week. He's a fantastic story teller and extremely good at getting me to talk about myself (actually it doesn't take all that much work to get me to talk about myself). I'm really looking forward to our "informal date."
As far as the "40 Year Old" goes, I hadn't heard from him via email or any other form of communication for 2 days. Then, last night he called and left a voicemail. (I was in a tanning bed, otherwise I would have answered it right away.) The reception was bad and I could tell he was outside. The only thing I could catch was something about being in New Orleans.
I'm so ready to move on from him... really I am!
As far as the "40 Year Old" goes, I hadn't heard from him via email or any other form of communication for 2 days. Then, last night he called and left a voicemail. (I was in a tanning bed, otherwise I would have answered it right away.) The reception was bad and I could tell he was outside. The only thing I could catch was something about being in New Orleans.
I'm so ready to move on from him... really I am!
Thursday, May 05, 2005
A Fair Trail? Or, A Fair Trial?
A few minutes ago, I checked my mailbox/inbox at work. In it I found a bright blue card addressed to me. I thought it was a little strange, because it's not my birthday. I turned the card over and saw who sent it, "Creepy John". I let out a scream and my co-workers peeked out of their offices.
Everyone at my office knows the story of "Creepy John". So I proceeded to show them the greeting card he sent me.
It had a cloud on the front in the shape of a smiley face and the inside was blank... except for the following handwritten message:
"Jane, I regret that I insulted you. I did not mean to. You were correct when you said that we do not know each other well. But, you are someone that I want to know better. I admire your wit, your directness and your smooth persona. Give me a 'fair trail' (I believe the word he was going for was 'fair trial', but he misspelled it.) Yours, John"
Happy "trails" John, because you already had a "trial" run... it was called the "first date".
I'm a little sick to my stomach...
Everyone at my office knows the story of "Creepy John". So I proceeded to show them the greeting card he sent me.
It had a cloud on the front in the shape of a smiley face and the inside was blank... except for the following handwritten message:
"Jane, I regret that I insulted you. I did not mean to. You were correct when you said that we do not know each other well. But, you are someone that I want to know better. I admire your wit, your directness and your smooth persona. Give me a 'fair trail' (I believe the word he was going for was 'fair trial', but he misspelled it.) Yours, John"
Happy "trails" John, because you already had a "trial" run... it was called the "first date".
I'm a little sick to my stomach...
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
For the sake of posterity...
Why did I agree to accept his call? (I know many of you are wondering.) Well, I didn't do it for me. I did it for the greater good, for the sake of posterity. I did it for the next woman! Ever the optimist, I thought maybe "Creepy John" was simply clueless when it came to dating etiquette and knowing how to treat a woman. Maybe no one ever told him that he was going about things all wrong. Maybe...
I received his call promptly at 9:30 p.m. He greeted me and began to asked how my weekend was. I told him, "fine". He asked me what I did. I told him, "I kept busy with work and friends." He informed me that he had a barbecue at his house with his family. (Why was he telling me this? I could care less.) I said, "That's nice."
I kept waiting for him to get to the point... (He wasn't getting there fast enough.)
He said, "I emailed you, because I wasn't sure you would answer if I just called. I wanted to talk to you. I just wanted to tell you that I had a nice time with you and wondered if you wanted to go out with me again? I was also wondering if everything was okay?"
I decided to get to the point for him. "Are you wondering why I never returned your calls after our date on Saturday?" He said, "Yeah."
And so I began... "John, I had a very nice time with you on Saturday. The date went really well until the last 30 minutes. I felt like you turned on me and became a different person. You were really aggressive and pushy. You made me feel extremely uncomfortable. "
I could hear him sigh on the other end of the phone. He said, "I thought there might be something wrong when you made the comment that you 'didn't know me that well'."
I said, "What did you think I would say when you grabbed my breast?" I continued, "John, the final straw was your comment about trying to get me drunk. That was one of the rudest things anyone has said to me on a date."
He interjected, "Oh come on, that was just a joke."
I snapped, "It wasn't funny!"
It was at this moment that I began to realize that "Creepy John" wasn't just creepy... he was really weird! I just told him he was completely offensive to me and he still thought he had a chance!
This was his defense:
"Jane, I didn't mean to move so fast. I completely understand why you felt uncomfortable. I"m really sorry, that was my mistake. It's just that I felt like we had so many commonalities. (Is that even a word?) I felt a close connection and completely forgot that we were only on our first date. I guess that's why I became so overly enthusiastic." (Is that what he calls it? "Overly Enthusiastic?")
My response, "mmmkay, well anyway... that was why I didn't call you back." This conversation was not going exactly the way I planned. I only anticipated it lasting 3 minutes... we were coming up on 5. I needed to wrap this conversation up.
"Well John, now that you know where I stand, I appreciate your call. Thanks for the apology (Although I"m still not sure it was one).
"Jane, do you think would consider going out with me again?"
Crap, this is exactly what I didn't want to happen. Why was he doing this? He kept talking.
"Jane, I mean you work with people that have messed up their lives. You do it for a living and deal with them everyday. Do you think you could find it in your heart to give me a second chance to?" (What a whiney manipulator! First of all, I get paid to deal with the dregs of society. Second of all, I don't date them!)
I was quiet... then I said, "I'm not so sure that that's what I want. That would take a lot of consideration on my part. I'll think about it, but don't call me. I'll call you."
At that moment, I thought the less direct route would be the kindest route to take with him. In my mind I was letting him down easy. (Oh the fool I am.) I had barely finished talking when he said:
"Jane, can I call you this weekend to see what your decision is? Is it okay if I call?" I was stupefied, but somehow the words snapped out of me.
"You can call me, but that doesn't mean I'll answer. If I change my mind, I'll call you."
This man didn't stop... "Um, well... see... I have tickets to this concert on Thursday and I was wondering if you wanted to go with me... blah blah blah." (I had stopped listening to him.) Was this actually happening to me? I have never seen a more persistent (or perhaps desperate) man in my life. Why didn't he get it?
I had to stop this, "John, I told you, I'll call you if I change my mind. Listen, I have to go, I have to do my laundry. I'm saying goodbye."
The last words I heard as I hung up the phone were, "I'll wait for your call."
What a waste of 10 minutes. I could have been doing my laundry and watching Law and Order SVU. That's the last time I try to do society a favor!
I received his call promptly at 9:30 p.m. He greeted me and began to asked how my weekend was. I told him, "fine". He asked me what I did. I told him, "I kept busy with work and friends." He informed me that he had a barbecue at his house with his family. (Why was he telling me this? I could care less.) I said, "That's nice."
I kept waiting for him to get to the point... (He wasn't getting there fast enough.)
He said, "I emailed you, because I wasn't sure you would answer if I just called. I wanted to talk to you. I just wanted to tell you that I had a nice time with you and wondered if you wanted to go out with me again? I was also wondering if everything was okay?"
I decided to get to the point for him. "Are you wondering why I never returned your calls after our date on Saturday?" He said, "Yeah."
And so I began... "John, I had a very nice time with you on Saturday. The date went really well until the last 30 minutes. I felt like you turned on me and became a different person. You were really aggressive and pushy. You made me feel extremely uncomfortable. "
I could hear him sigh on the other end of the phone. He said, "I thought there might be something wrong when you made the comment that you 'didn't know me that well'."
I said, "What did you think I would say when you grabbed my breast?" I continued, "John, the final straw was your comment about trying to get me drunk. That was one of the rudest things anyone has said to me on a date."
He interjected, "Oh come on, that was just a joke."
I snapped, "It wasn't funny!"
It was at this moment that I began to realize that "Creepy John" wasn't just creepy... he was really weird! I just told him he was completely offensive to me and he still thought he had a chance!
This was his defense:
"Jane, I didn't mean to move so fast. I completely understand why you felt uncomfortable. I"m really sorry, that was my mistake. It's just that I felt like we had so many commonalities. (Is that even a word?) I felt a close connection and completely forgot that we were only on our first date. I guess that's why I became so overly enthusiastic." (Is that what he calls it? "Overly Enthusiastic?")
My response, "mmmkay, well anyway... that was why I didn't call you back." This conversation was not going exactly the way I planned. I only anticipated it lasting 3 minutes... we were coming up on 5. I needed to wrap this conversation up.
"Well John, now that you know where I stand, I appreciate your call. Thanks for the apology (Although I"m still not sure it was one).
"Jane, do you think would consider going out with me again?"
Crap, this is exactly what I didn't want to happen. Why was he doing this? He kept talking.
"Jane, I mean you work with people that have messed up their lives. You do it for a living and deal with them everyday. Do you think you could find it in your heart to give me a second chance to?" (What a whiney manipulator! First of all, I get paid to deal with the dregs of society. Second of all, I don't date them!)
I was quiet... then I said, "I'm not so sure that that's what I want. That would take a lot of consideration on my part. I'll think about it, but don't call me. I'll call you."
At that moment, I thought the less direct route would be the kindest route to take with him. In my mind I was letting him down easy. (Oh the fool I am.) I had barely finished talking when he said:
"Jane, can I call you this weekend to see what your decision is? Is it okay if I call?" I was stupefied, but somehow the words snapped out of me.
"You can call me, but that doesn't mean I'll answer. If I change my mind, I'll call you."
This man didn't stop... "Um, well... see... I have tickets to this concert on Thursday and I was wondering if you wanted to go with me... blah blah blah." (I had stopped listening to him.) Was this actually happening to me? I have never seen a more persistent (or perhaps desperate) man in my life. Why didn't he get it?
I had to stop this, "John, I told you, I'll call you if I change my mind. Listen, I have to go, I have to do my laundry. I'm saying goodbye."
The last words I heard as I hung up the phone were, "I'll wait for your call."
What a waste of 10 minutes. I could have been doing my laundry and watching Law and Order SVU. That's the last time I try to do society a favor!
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
The Return of "Creepy John"
I spoke too soon about "Creepy John". I just received an email, exactly 8 days after his last phone call. It reads:
"I'd like to talk with you. If I were to give you a call tonight at about 9:30, would you be available to talk?"
I think I should talk to him cell phone to cell phone. This is going to be really weird, but it's best for me to address this situation directly.
If anyone has any advice for me... better post it before 9:00 p.m. CST.
"I'd like to talk with you. If I were to give you a call tonight at about 9:30, would you be available to talk?"
I think I should talk to him cell phone to cell phone. This is going to be really weird, but it's best for me to address this situation directly.
If anyone has any advice for me... better post it before 9:00 p.m. CST.
Sabbatical
As many of you have already heard, I'm going on dating sabbatical this week. I need a break. The drama of the past few weeks has exhausted me.
"Mr. Personality" has not... and in my opinion, will not try to contact me.
"Creepy John" has not... and in my opinion, will not try to contact me again.
"40 Year Old" and I are still talking... every day. (I know I'm going to get some grief from many of you for admitting that.)
"Eugenio" and I are still emailing, but the conversation is fluffy. He seems like he'd be a fun person to hang out with. He is an ultimate frisbee enthusiast! Maybe I will suggest that we hang out sometime. (But, not until after my sabbatical is finished :)
"Mr. Personality" has not... and in my opinion, will not try to contact me.
"Creepy John" has not... and in my opinion, will not try to contact me again.
"40 Year Old" and I are still talking... every day. (I know I'm going to get some grief from many of you for admitting that.)
"Eugenio" and I are still emailing, but the conversation is fluffy. He seems like he'd be a fun person to hang out with. He is an ultimate frisbee enthusiast! Maybe I will suggest that we hang out sometime. (But, not until after my sabbatical is finished :)
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